Exile
by Windswift
Summary: [AkiGure] [97, 101 manga spoilers] When the person you love gets hurt because of you, you feel like the most pathetic, worthless person on earth. Shigure moved into his new house very willingly.


Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya

Warnings: 97, 101, and various other later manga chapter spoilers.

_**Exile**_

"_If I were in his shoes, I would have done just the same. When the person you love gets hurt because of you, you feel like the most pathetic, worthless person on earth. It's no wonder Hiro didn't want to face her. … You know, we all really suck at this. This business of falling in love with someone and taking care of them."_

He had been so jealous and frustrated.

For Shigure, anger was usually a cold thing. He quietly internalized hate, scheming silently while it hardened and froze, waiting until he could do the most damage. But he hadn't really hated Akito.

So he hadn't known what to do with the hot, blinding jealousy. True, he had wanted to hurt her, but that was only a small part of it. He really intended to take out his frustration by doing something so childish that he would feel vindicated against Akito and could move on again. That was all.

Hadn't he always been foolish and stupid? Shigure had, without hesitation, gone straight to the rooms to which Ren had been banished. He had no love or desire for the woman, but it felt suitably immature, and sex seemed a fitting way to work off his turbulent emotions, after what Akito and Kureno had done.

All he had considered, staring down at her, had been how much Akito might take after her mother, if she had been allowed. That long, dark hair, so fine under his fingertips, a glimpse at what one day Akito's slender build might fill into… But that face, twisted smug in insanity, illustrated how much her features had been her father's.

He had almost—in fact, knowing himself, he probably _had_—laughed aloud at the sight. Ren, despite all of her devotion to Akira, so willing to jump into another man's bed; she was so pathetic. All Shigure had ever felt for her was pity. Never compassion—she was like a puzzle with the final piece missing. A sad sight, but who would really care?

He had abandoned Ren as soon as he was satisfied. That was to have been the end of it. He had assuaged his hurt feelings and was ready to move on; let Akito keep her own secrets and lies, and this would be his own childish mistake. He would never have wanted to hurt her enough to go up to her afterward and rub it in her face.

But in his burning jealousy, Shigure had forgotten that Ren had no such qualms.

"I hate him! I hate him! I never want to see him again! He has to leave! He has to leave the Main House, and he can't come back until I say so! I hate him!"

Akito hadn't really had to ask, or demand. As difficult as that feat was to achieve, Shigure had never felt lower in his life than he did when he heard her screams and learned that she knew.

Hatori had come to see him when the worst of the tantrum had finished. He had rubbed his face tiredly, sighing. "I'm really not sure what's going on… but Akito's very insistent. Perhaps it would be best for everyone's health if you just went away for a little while, until this passes."

"No worries, Haa-san!" The feigned cheer tasted disgusting in his mouth. "I was just thinking I might like a vacation anyway. Yes, a vacation home does have a nice ring to it…"

Hatori looked equal parts relieved and suspicious that he was taking it willingly and not making trouble.

Tapping his cheek thoughtfully, he continued, "I could even stay in town, I bet. Don't we have some wooded property nearby that would make a great getaway?"

"There's no house there. I can't imagine you camping. Nothing's been done with the place yet."

"Ooh, that's great!" Shigure raised his hand and waved it eagerly. "Then I humbly volunteer to be the first one to test it out! It can't take that long to build a house, after all, and I can keep out of Akito's way until then. Aah, I can't wait to live in my own paradise retreat!"

Leaving home hadn't been hard at all. He had wanted to leave… he hadn't wanted to face Akito after that. She had started it, but hadn't they all spoiled her in the first place so much that she just didn't get it? He couldn't stand to see the hurt on her face, the lack of comprehension of why she had to be hurt in the first place.

He felt like a dog.

He had loved her, and he had completely ruined it… he hadn't managed to protect her, the way he had always promised himself he would. This hadn't been a gentle hurt for her own good—it had been downright cruel.

Shigure dropped his bags in the entrance hall of his new, empty house. "Well, I got what I deserved, didn't I? I really suck at this…"

**…****  
Owari  
…**

_-Windswift_


End file.
